Fred Luo's Blind Date
by King Vegeta
Summary: Fred Luo gets more than he bargains for when Gene sets him up on a blind date. Poor Fred!


---=* I do not own Outlaw Star, or any of the characters involved. Don't sue! *=---  
  
  
Fred Luo's Blind Date  
  
Back on Sentinel 3, the Outlaw Star crew were enjoying some R&R. Gene was looking into the mirror for hours on end pondering why he ever went to the _Barber College For The Blind_ to get his haircut. Jim was working on their next job, being the young workaholic he was. Melfina was watching TV, since she rarely had a chance to. Sazuka was off in the back honing her assassin techniques. Aisha was off putting all the local restaurants out of business.  
  
Everyone was doing their usual thing...that's when Fred Luo barged in.  
  
"You guys want to buy some weapons?", he yelled out.  
  
"Could you yell that louder, Fred? I don't think the Space Corps quite heard you!", Jim yells.  
  
"Sorry!", Fred yells back as he sees Gene walk in. "Hello Gene...great to see you again...I love your new hair...it looks very smart on you...", Fred says as he starts to blush a little.  
  
"Um...good to see you too, Fred...", Gene replies, taking a giant step back. "What brings you here?"  
  
"I wanted to see if you were interested in buying some more weapons, and...um...well...er...just the weapons...that's all I came for!", Fred says nervously. "Anyway, have to run...my favorite soap opera is on!", he says as he runs out the door.  
  
"Well, that was uncomfortable. He's always poking his nose in our business. We need to get him off our backs somehow...", Jim says.  
  
"Agreed.", Gene says. "I've got it...we'll set him up on a blind date. That ought to keep him busy."  
  
"But where are we going to find another creepy gay arms dealer to fix up with him?", Jim asks with a puzzled look.  
  
"We won't need to", replies Gene with a smirk. "I know someone that will keep him plenty busy..."  
  
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~~I hope this stupid blind date Gene set me up on will be worth my time.~~, Fred thinks as he sits at a table for two in a restaurant. He then looks over to his left and almost yelps in horror. He quickly puts the menu next to his head so that his face can't be seen. ~~How could she be here? It's not possible! Of all the planets in the galaxy, why this one?~~.   
  
"Fred!", the large woman yelled as she ran up and put him in a bear hug.  
  
"Can't...breathe...let...go...Reiko...please...", he gasps.  
  
"Oh, Fred, when I was told that you wanted to meet me here, I was the happiest woman in the galaxy..."  
  
~~Gene! I would kill that guy if he wasn't so darn cute.~~, Fred thought to himself.  
  
"What do you say we skip dinner and get a hotel room, Fred?" Reiko says.  
  
"Um...actually...let's have dinner first...a nice...long...dinner...", Fred says in a total state of horror.  
  
"Okay...but after this I would love to get more physically acquainted...", she says as she sits down.  
  
Fred gulps. The waiter makes his way over.  
  
"What will you have, sir?", he says to Fred.  
  
"Um...let's see...this slow-roasted fish...how slow would that be?", he asks.  
  
"About 30 minutes, sir."  
  
"I'll take that.", Fred says emphatically.  
  
"And for the...um...lady?", the waiter says nervously as he looks up at the towering Reiko.  
  
"I'll take the roast beef...the fish...the steak...the lobster...and three side orders of fries.", she says.  
  
"Got it. I'll get the kitchen to work on that right away.", the waiter says nervously.  
  
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An hour later, Reiko was almost done devouring her many orders, and Fred was still without an escape plan. He nervously picked at his food as slowly as he could, but he too was almost done eating. Then he got an idea.  
  
"Excuse me, Reiko...I need to use the restroom.", Fred says.  
  
"Okay.", she replies while ripping part the roast beef.  
  
Reiko then glances out the window and sees Fred sprinting down the back alley. "Oh no you don't, Fred Luo...you're not getting away from me so easily this time!", she yells.   
  
Much to the waiter's horror, she shoves the table over, punches through the brick wall, and runs after Fred. He turns around to see if she saw him, and sure enough...there she was, barreling down on him. He screamed in horror and jumped onto the back of a passing car as he made it to the street. He looked back again, this time in utter shock and terror, as Reiko was still running after him. She finally catches up to the car, grabs Fred by the collar, and drags him kicking and screaming to the nearest hotel.  
  
"I know you're nervous about tonight, Fred.", she says as she drags him along. "Don't worry, I'll be gentle..."  
  
~~I don't care how cute I think Gene is! He's dead! Dead! That is, if Reiko doesn't kill me first!~~, he thinks as he's dragged into the hotel lobby.  
  
"We'd like a room, please.", Reiko says.  
  
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Ten minutes later...they're in their room on the 21st floor.  
  
~~I have to get out of here!~~  
  
"Let me slip into something more comfortable...", Reiko says with a grin.  
  
~~Oh god...now I really need to leave! But if I open the door, she'll hear it!~~, Fred thinks. He then sees the open window. ~~Unless...~~  
  
Reiko bursts out of the bathroom wearing lingerie. "Oh Fred..."  
  
"AHHHHHH!!!!", Fred screams at the horrible sight as he dives out the window.  
  
He falls 20 stories and lands in some bushes. He then dusts himself off and runs. Reiko quickly puts her dress back on and jumps out the window, landing on her feet and denting the pavement. She chases after Fred. Fred runs into an alley and jumps over some wooden fences. Reiko just bursts right through each of the fences. Fred, in horror, runs for the launching docks.  
  
~~I'll hide in the cargo hold of one of these ships...she'll never look for me there!~~, Fred says as he runs into the nearest ship. Five minutes later, the ship starts to move. ~~Oh great...it's blasting off! Well, at least I'll finally get away from Reiko.~~  
  
"Guess who, Fred!", Reiko yells from the other end of the cargo hold.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"  
  
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Meanwhile...on the Bridge of that ship...  
  
"Did you hear that, Captain?"  
  
"Hear what?"  
  
"A blood-curdling scream...it sounded like it came from the cargo hold."  
  
"Must be your imagination...I didn't hear anything. Keep your cool...this is a _6 month mission_...I don't want you to start hearing voices before we even leave orbit."  
  
"Yes, sir..."  
  
  



End file.
